Rats in the Realm of Romance

Hello Good Children of Earth

Incredibly sorry for SEVER lack of updates. I've just been a slacker...
But I have News!!
An update in fact, on the "Romance Novels ♥" post

If you remember, the lowest of low on the "Romance Novel Scale of Suck-ness ♥" was "Fabio on the Beach", but I have found something that will make all sad, lonely, pathetic women start shaking in their stretch pants!!

WERE-RAT ROMANCE

Yes! That's Right! Were-Rat!! As in disgusting little rodents that go "squeak squeak" and poop in dark corners.
These *sarcasm* lovely little creatures made their debut in a little book my Dear Ol' Mum picked up from the library . Now you should know that my Mum is neither sad, lonely, or pathetic, and doesn't wear stretch pants (on a good day...JUST JOKING MOM! ♥ ♥ ♥). She was also not expecting to be greeted by text that combined sexy-immortal-man with smelly-disease-rodent. After reading this she shared the new information with me in a fit of giggles!

So here it is, a new level on the "Romance Novel Scale of Suck-ness ♥"

Were-Rat Romance- If you are reading these books because you find man-rats incredibly sexy and sharp witted, and wish that perhaps you will go to dinner with Tall Dark Sexy Beady Eyed Random Stranger and he will actually be Were-Rat King, then your best hope for survival is to crawl into a hole and possibly you may meet a real rat.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Words of exit:

i've cheated the rules

since i could remember

cuz you never get caught

when you oh so clever

till someone catches on

and your sceme is butsed

your forced to remember

all the times you lost it

all the things you said

that where evil and hurt

all the times you've split blood onto your shirt

all the intolerable crulties

the marks made in the past

the haunted memories

you hoped would pass

your tear stained face

you tried to hide

but you couldn't keep what you felt inside

mind over matter

love over pain

but it just doesn't work

when your playing the game

Were-Tigers, Were-Snow Leopards, and Fabio, Oh My!

Romance novels Y, are, for me, a constant source of ridicule. They contain any number of weird creatures, and nearly all have half-naked people on the beach gracing the front covers. Or on a horse, or a ship, or in a jungle, or maybe in a circus! There is a certain scale for how terrible romance novels are, judging by the characters. Listed from best to worst.

Vampire Romance- They are undead, and therefore awesome. And drama in the book comes from the whole "I don't want to be bitten by my vampire partner, but I know he can't help himself(Vampire is usually a boy). Oh what am I to do?" Vampires brighten up the whole romance scene.

Wizard Romance- While Harry and Ron are losers when it comes to the ladies, some wizards are not, and they get all the girls, lots of magic in these, and lots of gushy talk.

Were-Wolf Romance- Ummmm.... not good. No. Now your pushing it...

Were-Tiger Romance- You have sunk extremely low.

Were-Snow Leopard Romance- Takes a lot of work to keep the bile from coming up.

Fabio on the Beach- um... If you are reading this and you are not an old lady with gold lamè pants and a beehive, you are a bit scary. And possibly lonely. And own many many cats.








Words of exit:
"Hey Evan, what sound does the Were-Tiger make?"
"RROOOAARRRR!!"
"Hey Squishy, what sound does Fabio on the Beach make?"
"Beep BEEP!"